DM Seph

I’m sooooooo excited! I was doing my hair, still had not changed out of my pajamas when I caught a light show out my window. First I took a self-assessment to make sure the mushrooms from last night had worn off. for real I wasn’t entirely sure but we only live once right?

I ran outside the axe and thistle and floating a little of the ground was a baby, Beholder. My heart melted. She was so pink and purple and her eyes were just all over the place. Thoradin picked her up and she was trying to use her Eyestalks. So adorbs, here eyes shooting out sputtering streams of magic glitter and light. I tried a couple of songs from my childhood.


I tried singing to entertain her. This girl really digs music. Thoradin let me hold her. She was so soft… like oh my devil I was full of baby fever. Though I was entirely entranced by this cute wee little aberration, I was able to hear what everyone was talking about. Based on what people were discussing, this beautiful baby girl apparently just birthed her self from a bugbears mouth. Based on his look and descriptions I read I deduced him to be Broc O’Doyle Lee.

Apparently while unconscious the horrifying limb graphed arm spoke through Broc and asked our people to bring this beautiful girl to the crazy gnome on behalf of lord jamb. Dwaff had been summoned and even though another tried to insinuate the noblest of gnomes was crazy I interjected he was not and the evil entity wanted us to take her to ezikiel.

Absolutely not. No way in hell am I letting that evil gnome get his hands on Iris… oh yeah so I ended up picking the name she liked. Ended up being her first word too. Narcissism at such a young age. It brings me joy to know she will never have self-confidence issues.

Knowing that young kids like to eat. We went thoradin to fetch some milk. He tried so hard bless his heart. He tracked down the cursed wild cow in town.  Every owner shes had has died so no one has elected responsibility for her. After he got almost wiped out by a charge from old Betsy, I gave him a quick pep talk and he was able to calmly subdue it.

At this point, we realized Iris was a carnivore and wanted meat. She settled for a chicken from thoradin which is good all things considered. Joule had shown up and was also enamored by our new niece. Iris was in huge spirits. We took her to the grove so we could get ti some business of reviving a dead spy.  Broc who was not feeling quite well due to the sudden random birth and his gross arm decided to adopt her off to us.

Tar came to the grove and got to work with joule in bringing back the dwarf. About that time Broc decided to leave town. Iris was visibly devastated and kept saying “why lord jamb why?”. It was heartbreaking. I tried to console her but honestly how could anyone take such a sudden rejection like that.

I have determined to make sure in her infancy I will try to give her as much love as I’m capable of and try to give her some form of stability… am I growing up? No, it’s probably the drugs and alcohol talking. I’m probably internalizing my own pain and fears and instead of addressing them, I’m projecting them on a child in order to not deal with them… yep… that sounds more like me.

So in my smothering Iris made it clear she didn’t want to blast me, but would if I didn’t stop smothering her so I took a step back and just reasureedly stayed by her while she cried her self to sleep. About this time Tar was able to bring back the dwarf spy as a [Redacted to ensure cover maintained]

While he wouldn’t tell us directly he said he would give his report to yarsby for us. Spys and their inability to trust strangers… what kind of world am I raising my xenophobic, murder prone child in?

Afterward, I attempted to take iris to my room but Teet gave me the nine degrees… I may have gotten mouthy with her and walked out. After pacing outside I decided to go to that unused burrow in the grove with little Iris.

We both fell asleep in there. I sent some prayers out to great great great great great grandpop to please ensure I don’t die in my sleep from disintegrating. How do I get my self Into these situations?