Into the Woods…Out with the voices

Mission: Help the big Urag orc guy go kill things in the Whispering Woods

DAY 1:
We all meet in front of the The Bitter Dwarf Inn and made sure we had our supplies and stuff. That Urag guy only speaks Dwarven as far as I can tell, but I told the party that I can communicate preeeeetty well with hand motions. I don’t know know why the guards and Lysing looked so shocked though…

We made REALLY good travel. Apparently, Joule is really good with pacing and helped us all make it to the outpost and then the edge of the woods suuuuuper fast.

The first couple of moments after we stepped into the weird forest, Kai the bear found a corpse! I tried to tummy dive….. but there wasn’t even a tummy to even dive though. I found literally nothing on it… So unsatisfying. Joule started to zone out and then told us she talked to it spirit bear that said not to spend too much time in the forest or too deep. Something about not being able to leave. I also kinda started to hear some voices… Too bad the ones in my head didn’t listen to one out of my head. Hah!

We followed the bear some more and came up on some hot springs and as Kai went to sniff the water… A GIANT TENTACLE PLANT ZOMBIE THING popped out and tried to boop Kai!!

It didn’t take us too much time to kill it but 2 more popped out of the other pools of water and we noticed that if it was given too much time it spit out a corpse and it turned into a zombie.

I only fell over once… but over all got out of that mess with a few light scrapes. Could really barely call them wounds. After we took stock of the situation, I FINALLY got to tummy dive on the three plant monsters and the half dozen of corpses that fell out of the monsters.

As the others were talking about whatever, I saw this really weird uggo trying to circle us…

I looked at Lysing and asked if he knew what that thing was, as he has seemed to know the most about this forest from logs. I really didn’t understand him and it didn’t seem like he had any concrete information. I tried to think about what I learned in the Church of Chemist and all the books he made me read….. somewhere between all the fuzzy and floaty memories, I remembered a name… Dissimortuum.

I’ve seen plenty of foes and allies in battle and can tell if they have a fighting spirit or are lily-livered cowards… This creature is def an opportunity coward. So I yelled at it, “Don’t bring your friends or I will post your head on wall and present your corpse as a present to my girlfriend.” I didn’t see it anymore but I could feel in the air that my message was heard. It’s too bad, Daf would have loved a new “lab assistant”.

We decided to continue moving and following Kai northwest further into the forest. As we trekked further in, I saw some blue orbish looking lights. I got closer and yelled at them in Sylvan and one of the lights came closer and took the shape of a ghostly lady.

The Ghost lady then screamed and it seemed like some people in the party got all nervous and shite. It was loud but not scary really… We ignored them spirits and continued on, following Kai until I noticed a hedgerow. I went to investigate it and Uzza offered to have her imp Ral to fly overhead and check out the site. She told us that there was a decent amount of zombies big and small and in the center of what turns out to be a maze, the Beholder we were looking for.

We sneaked for a bit getting into the maze through the south and I managed to kill one while sneaking, but that didn’t last long…. (thanks Joule and Lysing).
After one of the zombies let out a yell, all heck broke loose. We were fighting wave after wave of zombie and as the fight went on, Joule, me, and the two orcs were surrounded by zombies and getting dinked by the Beholder, when I heard a soft “Sorry!” from Uzza from her cloud of buggies. I looked up and there was a GIANT FIREBALL coming down onto our heads. HAHAHAHAHA! I feel like I was turning into a crispy chicken wing for a sec, but BOY did that thing absolutely WRECK the zombie hoard that was around us. It was def worth the burnt bits of hair. We managed to beat back the few stragglers and I managed to get a few hits on the BBG but Uzza was the MVP. From her bug cloud all the sudden there was streams of magical bolts and that Beholder blew to absolute CHUNKS. HA! It was glorious….

I helped Uzza rifle throw the bodies and the Beholder and she found this little crown. I wanted to take it back with us for Daf… but those dang “clients” of ours said that they wanted it for their “trophy”. Ugh! Ah well… Urag ended up giving Uzza this horn and told her that if she needed him for a hunt and he was near, he would answer the call of the horn.

After we settled down, Uzza did some crazy magic and made a tent for us all for the night. After Joule woke me for my watch, I didn’t really see anything but I noticed that all the zombie corpses were disappearing one by one…. It reminded me of the Dissimortuum I saw earlier. So I pulled out bow and yelled into the night where I could see the magical glow from their headresses, “If you bother us, I promise that your corpses will be a beautiful present for my awesome girlfriend, that I will lay at her feet.” I didn’t hear them respond, cowards, but I did notice that the magical glow of the headresses start to fade from view. When I woke Lysing for his watch, I mentioned that I saw them and just to be vigilant. I didn’t think they would come back though… I slept super good though for the rest of the night.

DAY 2:

After waking, we quickly tried to leave the forest. I could still hear a few voices, but it still didn’t bother me. We only ran into one nasty ghost thing and it did some really nasty disemboweling show, which made some of us kinda sick, but we moved past is as quick as possible and made it out of the forest. Joule kept us on a quick march to the outpost and then again towards town. We ran into some guards who had an apparent skirmish with some bandits at the bridge, and I gave a general good job comment, but those guards were funny. You’d think I had just blessed there houses or something… Ah well. We continued on to town and finally made it to the inn. I am so glad to be back! Wander what the next adventure will be like…..

-PS: Tummy Diving should be a legal requirement,
Faenoa Munggen