Dakka Doon (Le Count) 6/10/22

Fort Peckerwood has fallen and all guardsmen and auxiliaries have been slain.  No supplies or items of value recovered. All bodies burned along with the bodies of the attacking orcs which bore the markings of the Bloody Hand tribe.

Principle Witnesses to the massacre:

Dakka Doon

Yatari Silverkin

Orgeron the Eater



Well, there it is.  Not much else to add, since after this we wandered in the woods for a couple of weeks trying to find the Bloody Hand tribe.  Of them, we found fuck all.  Just as well, I was pretty fucking pissed and if I got a hold of any of them I would have done some right goblin shit to them like force feeding them bits of them friends and themselves and other fucked up stuff I would regret later.  Now that I have had two fucking weeks in the snow to cool off I am still pissed, but mainly at myself.  I am pissed I sent those poor fuckers to get cut up looking for a spot to build a town on.  The survivors reported the guards were already in a bad way – needing support and supplies.  I did fuck all.  Later reports had the Bloody Hand tribe almost wiping them out, but a nice girl named Sina paid them off out of her own pocket.  Again, I did fuck all.  Can’t even thank Sina for her kind effort because she got turned into a gooey red pancake by a tri-horn exploring an island above Port Mirandia just the other day.  So now I come marching in way too late and got nothing to do but burn the bodies.  Fuck me, I am mad at myself.

Anyway, wandered the woods and found some random shit and no orcs.  Bullshit will-o-the-wisps attacked us in the night twice and some water fairy skank that burned when I grabbed her lured Orgeron out and made Yatari stop talking to him.  They are all mostly dead now.  Probably.  Hard to tell with that shit.

Only thing of interest was a giant wooden horse that some wizard lady was using for a house.  She conjured us up dinner and let us stay the night, asking only that we tell stories of our adventures.  Yatari and Orgeron were suspicious and kind of rude.  I ended up staying with them outside the horse that night.  Jyn and Alessio stayed but were locked in their rooms for some reason when we called upon them in the morning.  This led to more general rudeness and ended up with us having to fight regular hordes of shitty skeletons and us leaving when Yatari set the foyer on fire with a fireball.  No one really got hurt.  Those were really shitty skeletons.

There was this kid we used to hang with growing up n the streets.  Nice kid, really good at painting and stuff.  We called him “Artist” because he didn’t have a name.  Anyway, this kid had a real hard time talking to people.  Like he couldn’t quite get what they were saying unless they were super specific.  Anyway, this bitch in the wooden horse was like that.  She was “Artistic”.  Hard to tell if she was up to no good or we were insensitive jerks.  Maybe both.  Anyway, if she is crazy enough to let more random adventurers in her home, try being nicer than we were.  Artistic bitch went by the name “Ilja”, if you see her.  According to her, her family has lived there for at least a few generations.

That was it.  From here we just wandered around until we found a river and followed it southwest until we left that area of ZHT’s icy curse.  That was around the time we fought the burny naked river skank.  We looted a shrine to who knows what and I killed the fuck out of something that shat out darkness near the portal after we turned back east when shit got warm.

Oh, and there was a white dragon one night.  Big enough to be a grown up.  Tried to lure one of us out of the Tiny Hut by just being big in the darkness.  The boys are pretty dumb.  Not gonna lie.  But none of us are dumb enough to get tricked by a fucking white dragon.  Moon Druids with white scales are what those thiccos are.  He fucked off when his master strategy failed and we never saw him again.

Shit that matters:

Fort Peckerwood is gone and should not be re-manned until a deal can be made with the Bloody Orc tribe to the north and/or the other Orc tribe to the southwest.  I have cooled down, so I could probably talk to them without killing half of them first.  Maybe.

Unexplored region to the Northwest only really irritated me and the group, but we all are pretty killy.  I think fresh off the boats should avoid exploration in the area but anyone with a half dozen or so outings under their belt should do OK.  Maybe.

Irja, the artistic horse house lady (skeleton horde not shown).