DM: Oatsy

Characters: Isaac, Peppington, Oni, Tar, Akita, Xeren

It was with a small hope that I, Lidian Thouraday, ventured forth from Swollen Tooth with the aforementioned adventurers on a return trip to the Homestead of Clyde and the sisters Dahlia and Petunia ; in celebration of the clearing of their farmhouse of the fiends that had infested it. Despite an initial forgetfulness on the part of Akita and myself, the only ones to have been to the farmstead, we found our way there by following Clyde’s gigantic footprints that were luckily found by Peppington. Quite useful to have a cat that knows its way in the wilds.

Arriving at the homestead, we found Clyde adorned in rabbit ears on his head, and Dahlia dressed similarly, citing some mad theory about the creation of the world being at the hands of a fluffy rabbit. Thankfully that discussion was shortlived as Petunia descended from Clyde’s house, Tar giving out Bill’s gifts to the family, and a letter addressed to Dahlia.

It was then that we moved onto the events they had prepared, a strange pail of beans that caused all manner of strange magicks, these sisters are surprisingly adept for having no actual training in the arcane. And it was one of these damnable beans that I ingested that I have no doubt will continue to cause no end of troubles for myself as I sit here spewing forth “watermelon” seeds. Whatever it was that I was turned into, I have found myself retching at even the thought of eating more. The others seemed to have had very little effect, with Xeren adopting a very strange accent, and Akita shrinking slightly and his voice rising several octaves, though Tar changed a bit as well, a multi-colored flower shirt, thongs on his feet, and a strange white grease appeared on his form in place of his former clothing, insisting that everyone else put on the strange grease, as “protection from the sun”. It was incredibly unnerving to be quite honest, especially once he used his Druidic magic to change into a bear, and the grease somehow covered that entire form as well.

The Second Event consisted of Isaac and Peppington donning chains to then climb a tree whilst we pelted them with tomatoes. The rules set forth of no teleportation the trial began. (I still do not understand what any of this would have to do with a rabbit creating the world, but it is the way of these simple folk) And while Peppington’s superior form would have led to his swift victory, I found Isaac’s form pitiable and as such, decided to help him out, in the name of Good Rabbits and Fluffy Fun, as I believe these locals would say. Using my own magicks to slicken the tree Peppington was quickly climbing, it slowed him slightly, but apparently led to him lashing out as Isaac. Jumping from the tree and hitting him square in the chest, Isaac stumbled back, but was otherwise fine. In response, this powerful Mage, and obvious master of some field of the arcane, conjured forth a dragon of the darkest shadow in the bright of day. As we were all obviously taken aback by this wicked show of power, he strut upon the creature’s head and was lifted to the top of the tree, proclaiming his victory before being struck down with the official proclamation of Peppington’s Win. In the future, it would probably be best to avoid inciting this Isaac, as he seems to take competition to an illogical extreme. Though I’m sure his objection to this ruling would have been much more impactful had he not broken the most horrifyingly loud wind that I am sure would have whipped the fiends into a frenzy had they still been alive. Though thankfully it did explain his strange gait he’d had since ingesting one red bean the sisters had prepared.

The Third event was one that was once again something that cannot possibly be anything to do with rabbits and creation, and I would stake my heritage on that ; an arm-wrestling competition, with the prize being another competition against Clyde, his single-eyed, rabbit-eared . I myself was set against Tar, his grease-laden form slippery enough that I do not understand how he could have such a strong grip upon me. It was over in a matter of a heartbeat, my hand slamming the table with such force that I saw his face turn upside down once before finding myself having been physically thrown across the room, his grip still tight as my own slipped out of his greasy mitt. Peppington conjured a bear in his bout against Isaac, though the man dispelled it with a remarkably strange force of physical exhilaration. I suppose that once you have been on the island as long as Isaac has, you find yourself attempting to find a victory in literally anything you come across, whether it be children’s games or whatever else it is that he finds himself stuck in.

The rounds continued, Xeren winning against Akita and facing Isaac, Tar found himself not having to participate after his incredible show of prowess against myself. As again the strange Mage became an ape before our eyes, screaming all sorts of what I must assume to have been things similar to his exclamations earlier with the dispelling of the bear. Xeren attempted and nearly prevailed against the man-devolved-ape, but to no avail. With Tar shifting to again to his bear form, he challenged Isaac, the man weirdly not attempting anything this round with all his tricks and magic he had been showing off beforehand. And as is known, the bear won the feat of strength handily, and Clyde, the behemoth of a cyclops chef, struggled, but was – paws down – proven the weaker of the two. I doubt the tables and utensils the Druid touched will ever again be quite “clean” as the white grease appears to cover everything it touches in a white sheen. I sit here now penning this and the instrument still slips from my fingers.

Following the victory, we were treated again to Clyde’s cooking, Isaac’s and my own soups having taken on a strange green to the other’s ruddy red, which was quickly replaced by Clyde, though the Red-Robed Mage was given a generous helping of cheese(by cyclops standards) shaved directly into the soup.

I still have no true hint as to what this festival had to do with Rabbits. Why would prey be responsible for creation?