you have requested of me an explanation for the „multiple instances of disturbance of the peace on the night of the $date“ and one count of alleged indecent exposure during the same night in the city of White Moon Cove. With this missive, I endeavor to explain the whole sorry situation.
We had been on an expedition: we, that is, Cally, Don, Glen, Ou-Kan, Tor and Yibble.
As we were getting ready to leave, we were approached by an official who informed us that unfortunately our plans would interfere with his own, and who requested us to instead go on to another expedition – leaving us with the impression that this alternate expedition was by no means any more dangerous than the originally planned one.
To get to the place, we had to take a portal to the destination “DRM”. Despite the fact that several of our group were until then completely new to the phenomenon that is portals, we managed to exit without any major mishap.
The destination was a circle of standing stones, similar to the ones druids have erected all over the Sword Coast. And we even found some inscriptions, seemingly written in moss, that exhorted us to respect nature and the natural circle of life – in Druidic! Of course, we did not intend to disrespect any nature and set out in the direction of some mountains that seemed to be nearby (Southeastward, if my faulty memory serves me right).
The area around the plateau where our destination portal was located was a swampy area, not unlike the Ghostwood Marsh where the colony recently lost several adventurers to Grymmace.
We did find some megafauna living in the water, which we could not identify. After a few hours travel, we came upon a strange sight: there was a tree growing in the middle of a largish pool of what seemed to be perfect, clear water. In addition, we had the impression that there was a creature, looking a bit like a pixie or a sprite, hiding in the trees near that majestic tree; despite our attempts at communication, it did not respond. We tried a number of different languages, among those Elvish and Sylvan, but given later events, I suspect that Druidic seems to be the lingua franca here. It might be worthwhile for future expeditions to make sure someone who is versed in this dialect accompany them.
In the evening, two of our group went out hunting and came back with a giant centipede. Some of us were a bit hesitant to try, but it tasted just as well as when I had tried some at my Teacher‘s place.
The following night we were first accosted by a giant insect-like creature, looking like an overgrown and mutated praying mantis ( though instead of two big composite eyes it sported like two rows of red eyes, positioned on a bit like a spider‘s eyes. This creature attacked us without warning, making use of its – probably inborn – ability to turn invisible and capable of causing mental/moral corruption and self-doubt in people it stung. Near the end of the fight it started talking in a language that some of us claimed was Druidic. (That is the reason why I suspect that pixie-ish creature might also have expected us to address it in that same language).
Later in that night,our camp then was attacked by what I can only describe as a Purple Worm on igneous steroids. In addition to the bite and stinger attack of the Purple Worm, this one was able to spew forth lines of
coca burning oil – after which my own memory stopped. Later I heard that this worm would even regenerate and could only be laid to rest with cold attacks. Seeing how fast it downed the first three of us, I have to question the wisdom of the official who claimed the area was as safe as if we had visited the hobgoblins…
Now to the accusations on file: as during the fight my Pact Tome had been burned, I had contacted my teacher, requesting a replacement as per our pact. To do this, I had left the village and come to a previous agreed meeting point, dressed the same way as I had been the first two or three years of my studies (to wit, naked). I guess whoever complained either saw me leave or return – more likely return, after being awoken by that laughter. Though I have to wonder why, if that is such a crime, no one complained about us when we reached the village after our encounter with the worm and before we were resurrected.
The loud eruptions of laughter people complained about occurred at three specific moments: the first one, when Teach first saw me after my reincarnation, the second one, when I explained where we had gone (Teach is an old mystery-monger who always wants me to find things out on my own, so I did not ask him for an explanation – I have learned better) and the third one, the one that sounded most angry, when he realized that my new shape was due to a reincarnation and that I had lost some of the abilities of a half-drow. It seems that he had or maybe still has some plans for me here in the general area and his reaction to me seems to indicate that fulfilling these plans might have become just that much harder. I hope my home village – as bigoted and xenophobic as most of the people there are – will not suffer from this: this would also hurt my adopted parents…
To sum it up: the three bursts of laughter were all uttered by my Teacher, and I have no objection should White Moon Cove decide to enforce a fine on him – his name is Robin Goodfellow, by the way. I only request to be informed of such attempts in time so I can reserve a prime seat to watch the spectacle, and bake some maize corns as a snack…