Yatari, Yavari, Sender, GreGory and Rimmy Tim

I am happy to report I survived my first mission in Katashaka. It was marvelous!!! I met such great people, had loads of fun, even tried to join a cult and get sacrificed… I’m getting ahead of my self here.

So my sister Yavari and I answered a call to adventure on the board of the tavern we are staying at. The words Ruins of Tsaran and the questions of a possible evil cult delighted me. We met up with our adventuring companions. A really nice, creepy looking man from Rusha named GreGory introduced himself to me. He was so polite and nice. Then there was a short tracker named Rimmy Tim that joined up. Originally, my sister, Yavari was going to blaze the trail but between you and me, dear reader… shes easily distracted and can not be trusted with such things. Bless her heart.

However, the best person on this trip by far was this tiny little goblin named Sender. He was constantly scowling and being a regular Mr. Grumpy Grumps. It was totes adorable!

Everyone decided I had to be a leader because they could just notice I was obviously the best sister. I think I did a great job, all on my first mission!!!

We started our trip to find these ruins, all I knew was it was north near the jub hub mountains. As we were walking along Sender found a really neat iron box… well… he sort of found it… mostly just tripped over it. So I was really super careful with opening it because it was made of iron and had a wax seal so I was thinking I might find a demon or something inside.

Iron Chest

We found some incense and a flask of holy water… It wasn’t a Demon sadly. No one else seemed disappointed so we continued on. Around nightfall we happened to come across a traveling merchant heading back to their shop in Ruined Oak.

We partied and shared stories with the merchants. It was very chill, so chill that in the morning they offered us a ride to the crossroads to the north.

Up the road, we came across this decimated village. It was like the creepiest, could just feel the bad vibes radiating there. Whenever I had a moment of doubt I’d look over to Mr. Grumpy Grumps and I would feel better. His little angry scowl is so adorbs.

So we walked down and past the end of the road making our way to the foothills. I found a good spot to make camp and settled in for the night. We didn’t sleep more than an hour when we all suddenly were awakened to Mr. Grumpy Grumps warning us of danger. He is so brave!

These turtle creatures ran past our camp and were all pointing behind them like they were gonna get mugged. I’m not sure but it may have been some distant cousins of mine. These gnarley looking demons were totally rocking the whole goat vibe except their skin was covered in boils and lesions. Just being near them would cause us to break out like we were still in puberty.

So everyone just rained death on them. Mr grumpy grumps were blasting them away with very loud sonic magic. Sister was twin casting her spells at them like a boss. Creepy nice guy was reaching through the planes of madness and bringing forth eldritch tentacles to turn them into a paste. And then there was the rimmy the tree Taking on two at a time like a pro. I was being the best leader shouting words of encouragement to everyone. We totes kicked their ass.

Gnarly Goatheaded Cousin

Dear reader if you ever come across these gnarly goat-headed guys, here’s what you need to know.

Fire doesn’t work well on them.
Most people cant outrun them.
Being within about 30 feet will cause your skin to erupt into festering boils.
They smell very bad and seem to be very weak-willed. My insults were very effective on them.
When they die they turn into black goo and fade away.

The rest of the night went by uneventful. So we headed to the foothills and shortly found a 2 story citadel. So I came up with this amazing plan that we could be people looking to join a strange murder cult. I immediately grabbed my make up and was trying to put eyeliner on Mr. Grumpy Grumps but he was being a stick in the mud about it which made him so adorable. He acts all mean and tough but deep down you can tell he’s a softy.

So I painted a symbol on my head that Mr. Grumpy Grumps said they think the cult uses with a skull and flames. My make up was on fleek. So we walked straight up while I played a dirge so they would think we were all tragic evil guys.

We knocked but got no answer. Which I have to say is just rude. Like how do you expect to get members if you don’t at least have a door greeter? These cultists really need to focus on their branding because they are missing out on great opportunities.

So we walked in and. Asmodeus H Baatezu this place was YUGE! there were easily 40 or so statues of warriors along the walls. A huge altar, giant windows, and a mezzanine. I got up on the altar and laid down, waiting to see if anyone would show up.

I felt a bit dejected, here I had a great plan but we couldn’t seem to find any cultists. I started to check doors when suddenly the front door sealed. Those statues started chanting and I got super excited. Then these giant apes with snake bodies showed up. They grabbed my sister and tried to grab the creepy nice guy. We fought them though didn’t learn much from them. They seem to resist my insults easily. So I guess they were more strong-willed.

Part Snake part Ape…a Snape.

After that, we went in search of something else. The first room I found and obvious trap to which rimmy the tree hastily took care of. We kept exploring the first floor and found a beautiful and gigantic rug and dining table. The rug was of some guy drinking a river… after that, I was glad nobody wanted us in their cult. They obviously have super poor taste in decorations. Like who was their interior decorator?

Rimmy the tree kept walking through magical traps on our way up. All of us snaking closely behind. We went up to the second-floor mezzanine when all the nine shells broke loose. As Timmy walks down the mezzanine with the rest of us in tow, more of my cousins seem to just drop by.

Rimmy the tree was quickly surrounded, I tried to help him with lighting them up in faerie fire but it was too much for him and he jumped off the mezzanine. Dear reader this is where I want to point out we discovered you can jump from the second floor here and not injure your self hitting the ground. Really nice architecture, the stone mezzanine itself took a handful of shatter castings to it and didn’t appear to take any damage from it.

With Rimmy the Tree and Mr. Grumpy Grumps downstairs, and I being dry on effective magic called for a retreat which I think made the creepy nice guy upset at us. The Rusha people are very strong and proud people who don’t back down. I think I let him down and he had the most faith in me leading. In trying not to cry dear reader but I get emotional sometimes.

My sister took a swan dive off the mezzanine, even though she’s my younger sister and always look up to me as the strong role model that I am, some times she manages to surprise me with doing something cool like that.

The creepy nice guy was helping hold off my gnarly cousins do I could escape when suddenly they all started yelling for something called Grognard. We kept hearing this huge pounding while. The darkness came bursting into the cathedral from across the way.

Swarms of flys seemed to drop from the darkness. We all got out of there and luckily nothing pursued us. Might have been the daylight, I’m unsure.

The rest of the way back was mostly uneventful, rand across a large adventuring party from white moon cove that had tieflings and lizardfolk. They were headed northeast, I warned them of the dangers to the northwest so hopefully, they are okay. The rest of the journey was mostly uneventful

In the end, we all hugged except Mr grumpy grumps. I think he’s just shy and afraid of making friends. I will crack his adorable icy temperament one of these days!

So first mission, I’d say totes a success and I couldn’t be happier. I can’t wait to be exploring again soon.