At the last second I hopped into this adventure and led my party to death! More on that later because apparently losing half of your fellow adventurers is supposed to make you sad and I need to work extra hard to look like I care… Party:

  • Silthon the monk who’s covered in ink and draws stuff
  • Wolfgang the guy who’s tall but short and wears huge ass armour
  • Amarath the sneaky guy X_X
  • Kilgar big handsome half-orc who got angry when you touched his hair X_X
  • Varon also sneaky but more of a survival enthused sneaky guy (saved my life too)
  • Snapper X_X
  • Jello a tall (more than 3 feet) kid with way too bright green hair and a cube of slime on his shoulder. Not sure which was Jello though, might’ve been the kid or the slime..

Ignore the X_X they clearly have no significance! Anyways, we were sent off by a nice lady who served drinks and stuff at the A&T. Told us he (the kid) was an annoying shit and we needed to find him a home. The best place according to Jello was the swamp because there was ‘sticky stuff’ to feed on..

The Journey

It was an extremely hot day, perfect time to run around with a bunch of gear and armour! So we walked towards the south along the road and Wolfgang being all touchy feely decided to stick his finger into the Jello on Jello. His gauntlet got fused to his finger.. Not so innocent Slime.

Eventually we crest a hill, seeing the swamp down bellow. It is then that we saw a wolf eating a humanoid. Wolfgang ran forward with Snapper under his arm as we all simultaneously shot the creature. Instantly killing it. We killed it for food, or so I was told, I was just listening to Angry! He told me to burn them…

Jello shot slime all over it and began ‘eating’ it. It was the weirdest thing ever but apparently by eating he learnt about the creature. Weird shenanigans.

The body hadn’t been killed by the wolf, it wasn’t fresh and it had arcane burn marks. We decided to look into it and found tracks. We followed in the direction of the tracks but night was falling so it was time to settle.

Jackals in the Night

We found a huge marble statue poking through the swamp. We decided to set camp on the face! Wolfgang went out to find a meal while I was supposed to light a fire. I gathered a little bit of wood but it was really hot so we ruled out that it was pointless, sadly…

Wolfgang had enough berries for three, so he, Kilgar and I ate some! Luckily they weren’t poisonous.

I was second watch with Silthon. We were chilling, plotting pranks when suddenly we heard barks super close to the camp! As we went out to explore at least 50 jackals jumped from the bushes and attacked us.

Jack the Jackal

There was a massive fight as everyone woke up and murdered the wild scum bags. It went down in like 12 seconds, there was slashing, scorching and slicing! Tons of bloodshed on their end. They ended up producing a fine portion of jerky!

Snooper and Batman

I spotted a cave to the south west and began leading the group to the south east, it was confusing in the rain ok! We made our way back on track within minutes and moved in it’s general direction for a few hours.


My head began hurting during the day, I felt all woozy and oozy. I sorta stumbled around and got like 20 feet away from the group (felt like 5 miles) and got lost. I saw a slightly battered up teddy bear on the road (South) it was sooo cute! I ran up and hugged it! He’s mine now, his name is Snooper! So now the incredible team is: Snipper, Snapper and Snooper! I’m used to seeing things but Snooper is real, I can touch him!

Snooper is real nice, I can’t let anyone harm him! They’ll die if they try hihi.

While I was chasing Snooper, Wolfgang was running around screaming. He saw scary things but their was nothing there! What a crazy, he’s really just like me in a way! Everyone was saying it was the berries but Kilgar was fine.. Apparently no one can see Snooper! I’m sure my party was just blind, I’ll ask around in the A&T.

Bearded Bat

We had only moved a few feet forward when Kilgar saw a bearded bat of goblinoid size. He seemed passive so we spoke to him. He asked if we ate Marionette Blood.. I think that’s the berries. Anyways he told Wolfgang he was the ‘speaker’ and wouldn’t let me be the speaker so I didn’t listen. Eventually he left and we moved on.

The Mine

I was enjoying the company of Snooper and holding Silthon’s hand as the party dragged on to the cave, which turned out to be a mine. We camped inside to get away from the stormy weather. I tried fixing Snooper on my watch but I had very little material to do so.

In the morning we decided to explore this abandoned mine seen as it was a decent home for Jello. He instantly loved it, we found a puddle of black ooze and he started splashing in it and playing around. We left him there as we ventured further, Snapper and Amarath scouting with the rest of us following close by but far enough to not be suicidal like the rogue…

The mine had many branching passageways, Snapper flew past one but Amarath went in, alone… He was ambushed by a yellow slime like ooze and we didn’t know until he ran out bloodied and yelling.


We joined into the fight but the passageway was extremely narrow and we couldn’t pass through without tripping on one another. So, as the fight raged on and the ooze was split in two, I ran to go get Jello. I know what you’re thinking, what a horrible decision that could put a child at risk but who said I gave a shit about kids hihi!

Jello had a black ooze friend that looked oddly like the puddle we first encountered.. He recruited this ooze, turning it to his side. We sent Snapper to explore the rest of the cave as we walked room by room with Jello. Snapper got dropped and murdered by slime… I don’t have the money to keep bringing him back so he’s on time out for now. So pissed!

Jello pushed on, making his way to where Snapper died and recruiting all the oozes on the way. He ended up with quite the army. We saw how happy he was and walking around was really dangerous with all these burning oozes so we decided to leave.

The Army of Oozes Betrays us

We made our way to the door when Wolfgang decided to walk through a slime. Apparently Jello told him it was safe. Well guess what, it wasn’t hihi! Jello is quite the prankster, I like him. Wolfgang got swallowed and hurt but was pulled out by a javelin and rope. I’m guessing the javelin pissed off the ooze because it started attacking us.

We were stuck in a tiny hallway, blocked off by the oozes and Jello ran away. We all started attacking it as Wolfgang backed away to heal. Luckily, I was just behind Amarath and Kilgar so I wouldn’t take the front load of damage. I cast a spell but was extremely focused and forgot to run… The two frontliners got gulped up and I would be dead but Varon ran in and dragged me away before the ooze got to me!

We went from 6 confident adventurers fighting a slime to 4 adventurers running away and leaving 2 behind, inside an ooze. The other 2 were dying anyway and we had to get out. I began running out of the cave, Wolfgang stayed back a while longer, healing his allies and attacking the ooze but eventually he also had to give up.

Kilgar and Amarath were both fine adventurers, very new, fresh meat. They probably didn’t deserve to die and their bodies sorta protected me. I hear that most people tear up when they lose people who are close to them. I don’t know if it has to be close as in ‘relationship close’ or physically close though.. Regardless, I was physically only 5 feet from them and so I totally am sad!

Running Back

Our numbers were low and Katashaka is quite deadly so we did what adventurers do best and ran back to town. We made it back presto, pushing on through the night on our second day.

I am glad I didn’t die but am quite bored now that I’m back. I need to orchestrate something, a prank maybe? They’re not as satisfying as they used to be.. These adventures are better, I’ll go back out soon.

~Snipper the great dictator, leader of the dead